


all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold

by DreamoftheWild



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Blindness, Blood, Legend (Linked Universe) Angst, Legend (Linked Universe) Has Issues, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), baldness, please this is just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamoftheWild/pseuds/DreamoftheWild
Summary: Legend has a secret hiding under his hat, Warriors MUST find out.
Relationships: Four & Hyrule & Legend & Sky & Time & Twilight & Warriors & Wild & Wind (Linked Universe)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rei_writes_a_lot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rei_writes_a_lot/gifts), [janazza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/janazza/gifts).



> Is this a suitable gift for not posting/updating anything in forever? Probably not. Enjoy the crack anyway.

Legend seemingly loved his hat, so much so that when Warriors tried to snatch it off his head, he laughed maniacally while explaining it was impossible because of how many pins he had keeping it in place. He never even took it off while he slept, and the mystery of what the back of his head looked like was annoying everyone. But, Wild had the brilliant idea that he could carefully remove the pins, or at least see where they were in the rat’s nest of Legend’s hair, using the magnesis rune on his Sheikah Slate™️. 

So he did, and the combined efforts of all of the heroes had them all out within a short time frame. Even Time had given in to the curiosity and held all of the pins in one clenched fist. Warriors wanted to do the honors, they could see it in his eyes. He slowly reaches for the hat, not wanting to wake Legend. 

As soon as he moves it barely a centimeter up his forehead, Legend is snapping awake and leveling a glare up at the group. But it’s too late, Warriors still has a grip on the cloth, and as Legend goes to sit up, he rips it off, exposing….. Legend’s shiny, bald backside. 

Only his bangs existed at the front, framing his face, but as soon as the hat came off, it was revealed that past his ears there was nothing. Not even short stubbly hairs that had yet to grow in. Completely smooth shiny skin. 

“B…..” Warriors stammers.

“BALD!” Wind yells. 

“BALD! BALD! BALD!” Everyone chants, mesmerized by the glow bouncing off his head. They point at him, entranced. 

“BALD! BALD!” 

“MY EYES!” Wild screams in agony, blood dripping down his face.

Legend hides his head the best he can, but they are all already going blind from the brightness of his baldness.

And that is how Dark Link took over the world, the heroes unable to defeat him blind. 


End file.
